Dealing With Difficult People
By: Dr Teryy Paulson
Conflict is built into the very fabric of every organization in today’s changing world. When it is not dealt with well, it can create hostility and sap the time, energy and productivity of even the best relationships.
Conflict can also be a catalyst that sets the stage for changes needed. You will never deal with conflict perfectly, but here are 10 tips worth using in dealing with difficult people on and off the job.
1. Talk to People Instead of Talking About Them
Dealing with conflict directly may be uncomfortable and lead to some disappointment, but it cuts down the mind-reading and resentment that can occur when problems are not dealt with directly. Timing, tact and keeping a distance will always have their place, but make sure you still keep conflict eyeball to eyeball.
2. Do Not Avoid Conflict
People often vacillate between the pain of dealing with unresolved problems and the guilt over not dealing with them. Such indecisiveness saps energy and time; it can affect morale and turnover. Be a problem-solver, not a problem-evader. Problem-solvers learn to deal with conflict as soon as it arises.
3. Develop An Effective Communication Style
Focus on future problem-solving, not past issues. You want change, not just an admission of guilt. Winners of arguments never really win because consistent losers never forget. You want results, not enemies seeking revenge.
4. Deal With Issues Not Personalities
It is all too easy to abuse the “difficult” party instead of dealing with issues. Be assertive, but acknowledge that others can have different positions, values and priorities. When you personalise disagreements and hit back, you invite escalation.
Keep the focus on mutual problem-solving, not name-calling.
5. Face-Resistance
Attempts at threatening or silencing criticism will only force resistance underground and increase the chances of sabotaging even necessary changes.
Push for specific suggestions. If criticism is extensive and continues even after you look it in the eye, it may not be resistance – know when to admit that you are wrong.
6. Redefine Caring
This include confronting someone on a timely and consistent basis. Avoid labels that give you excuses for not confronting a problem, for example, so-and so is too sensitive or too nice, or he is of a certain background or race. If you believe people cannot change or benefit from feedback, you will tend not to confront them. Instead, treat all equally, and be caring enough to be firm, fair and consistent.
7. Avoid Forming Adverse Relationship
In strained or negative relationships, everyone loses. Take seriously the words of Confucius: “ Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.”
Even the most difficult person usually has some people he works with well. Learn to look for the best even in difficult people.
8. Invest Time in Building Positive Bridges
Abraham Lincoln reportedly said: “ I don’t like that man. I’m going to have get to know him better.” Look for ways to be sincere. It takes a history of positive contact to build trust. Search for areas of common ground. Even if bridge-building does not work, by being a positive bridge builder, you build a reputation everyone will come to respect, even if a few difficult people never respond.
9. Keep Your Perspective
Even if none of these suggestions work, tell yourself: “This too shall pass!’’.
Keep evidence of your efforts to build a better relationship. Find ways to work on projects that build new exposure in other areas within your organization. You may just find a new position with a different team to work with.
With a crazy or brutalising boss or co-worker, you may even have to leave. Always invest 5 per cent of your time inyour next career so you are continually developing career choices. You want to stay for the right reasons, not because you are trapped.
10. Spend Some Time Looking In A Minor
Customer service guru Ron Zemke put it well when he said: “If you find that everywhere you go, you’re always surrounded by jerks and you’re constantly being forced to strike back at them or correct their behaviour, guess what? You’re a jerk.”
Start by making sure that you are not being difficult yourself.-Source; ST/Ann
*Article by Dr Teryy Paulson, a US-based keynote motivational speaker and author of The Dinner, 50 Tips For Speaking Like A Pro and They Shoot Managers, Don’t They
Source: Star Metro, Monday, September 24, 2007
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Friday, October 5, 2007
Quality of Decision-Making Cause for Alarm
Quality Of Decision-Making Cause For Alarm
By: Joyce Au-Yong
THE act of decision-making may be at the core of all business activity, but the quality of it leaves much to be desired, according to a recent survey by the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU).
The survey report titled “In search of clarity: Unravelling the complexities of executive decision making”, found that 61% describe management decision-making at their companies to be moderately efficient of worse. At large organisations, 72% of executives shared this view. The EIU said that the executives’ perception of the mixed quality of decision-making at their companies was “cause for alarm”. Almost one in five North American executives who took part in the study believes management often got its decision wrong.
The research is based on a survey of 154 executives from Europe, North America and the Asia-Pacific in March this year. It was funded by Business Objects, the world’s leading business intelligence software company. Another key finding of the study is that poor data plagues decision-making at many companies. Executives surveyed identified poor data as the most important input into decision-making but said the timeliness and quality of the data leave mush to be desired. Fewer than one in 10 executives has the information when they need it, and almost half (46%) said wading through huge amounts of data slowed decision-making.
While solid data is a prerequisite for good decision-making, at a more advanced stage, the human ability to weigh intangibles and clear ambiguities needs to take over, and decision-making is still as much an art as a science. The EIU report quoted Tobias Becker, head of strategy at engineering conglomerate, ABB, as saying. “You need to leave in intuition and gut feeling-mechanised decision-making squeezes out the entrepreneurial spirit.”
At over half the companies surveyed, decision-making at senior management level was mostly informal, and executives tended to consult each other on an ad hoc basis.
Interestingly, Asian executives are more likely to trust their own intuition and judgement whereas Europeans look more strongly to the opinions of their peers. Six in 10 of the Asian executives surveyed say that personal intuition is critical in making strategic decisions. They also make greater use of technology to support decision-making. For multinational companies, this means that “detailed, uniform decision-making processes may be hard to apply across different cultures, and that broad frameworks describing missions and values may work better”, said the EIU release.
“What you try and share internationally are the fundamental principles and values of your business, its basic mission and vision. After that you need to be flexible because of the cultural differences. You have to allow teams to get on with it,” said Lord Karan Bilimoria, the founder of Cobra Beer which has offices in several countries including India, South Africa and the UK, in the survey report.
The study also found advantages to being small. Executives at smaller firms are more confident of their decision-making efficiency than their counterparts at larger ones, rely more on people than process, and worry less about data overload.
Technology can, however , help improve decision-making by making it easier to access and organise large amounts of information. But according to the EIU, many executives are uncomfortable using dashboards and other IT tools. These need to become more reliable and user-friendly to appeal to the less technology-savvy members of the management team, and also to the entire workforce, added the EIU in its report.
5 Ingredients of Good Decision-Making
ACCORDING to the EIU report titled “In search of clarity: Unravelling the complexities of executive decision making”, the five prerequisites are:
1. High-quality data“The greater your understanding of your company, your competitors and your environment, the more you can move from guesswork to making strategic choices.”
2. Employees need access to good technology and training
“There is no point in spending on new technology if people do not use it.”
3. Sound judgement“Decision-making processes, whether formal or not, need to leverage the strengths of human intuition. Data does not run companies; people do.”
4. Trust“To gain employees’ confidence in management decision, establishing transparency and trust is at least as essential as a good track record.”
5. Flexibility“Approaches to decision-making, and even to the use of data, need to reflect the fact that the world is a diverse place, and one size does not always fit all.”
Source: FinancialDaily, October 1, Monday 2007
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By: Joyce Au-Yong
THE act of decision-making may be at the core of all business activity, but the quality of it leaves much to be desired, according to a recent survey by the Economist Intelligence Unit (EIU).
The survey report titled “In search of clarity: Unravelling the complexities of executive decision making”, found that 61% describe management decision-making at their companies to be moderately efficient of worse. At large organisations, 72% of executives shared this view. The EIU said that the executives’ perception of the mixed quality of decision-making at their companies was “cause for alarm”. Almost one in five North American executives who took part in the study believes management often got its decision wrong.
The research is based on a survey of 154 executives from Europe, North America and the Asia-Pacific in March this year. It was funded by Business Objects, the world’s leading business intelligence software company. Another key finding of the study is that poor data plagues decision-making at many companies. Executives surveyed identified poor data as the most important input into decision-making but said the timeliness and quality of the data leave mush to be desired. Fewer than one in 10 executives has the information when they need it, and almost half (46%) said wading through huge amounts of data slowed decision-making.
While solid data is a prerequisite for good decision-making, at a more advanced stage, the human ability to weigh intangibles and clear ambiguities needs to take over, and decision-making is still as much an art as a science. The EIU report quoted Tobias Becker, head of strategy at engineering conglomerate, ABB, as saying. “You need to leave in intuition and gut feeling-mechanised decision-making squeezes out the entrepreneurial spirit.”
At over half the companies surveyed, decision-making at senior management level was mostly informal, and executives tended to consult each other on an ad hoc basis.
Interestingly, Asian executives are more likely to trust their own intuition and judgement whereas Europeans look more strongly to the opinions of their peers. Six in 10 of the Asian executives surveyed say that personal intuition is critical in making strategic decisions. They also make greater use of technology to support decision-making. For multinational companies, this means that “detailed, uniform decision-making processes may be hard to apply across different cultures, and that broad frameworks describing missions and values may work better”, said the EIU release.
“What you try and share internationally are the fundamental principles and values of your business, its basic mission and vision. After that you need to be flexible because of the cultural differences. You have to allow teams to get on with it,” said Lord Karan Bilimoria, the founder of Cobra Beer which has offices in several countries including India, South Africa and the UK, in the survey report.
The study also found advantages to being small. Executives at smaller firms are more confident of their decision-making efficiency than their counterparts at larger ones, rely more on people than process, and worry less about data overload.
Technology can, however , help improve decision-making by making it easier to access and organise large amounts of information. But according to the EIU, many executives are uncomfortable using dashboards and other IT tools. These need to become more reliable and user-friendly to appeal to the less technology-savvy members of the management team, and also to the entire workforce, added the EIU in its report.
5 Ingredients of Good Decision-Making
ACCORDING to the EIU report titled “In search of clarity: Unravelling the complexities of executive decision making”, the five prerequisites are:
1. High-quality data“The greater your understanding of your company, your competitors and your environment, the more you can move from guesswork to making strategic choices.”
2. Employees need access to good technology and training
“There is no point in spending on new technology if people do not use it.”
3. Sound judgement“Decision-making processes, whether formal or not, need to leverage the strengths of human intuition. Data does not run companies; people do.”
4. Trust“To gain employees’ confidence in management decision, establishing transparency and trust is at least as essential as a good track record.”
5. Flexibility“Approaches to decision-making, and even to the use of data, need to reflect the fact that the world is a diverse place, and one size does not always fit all.”
Source: FinancialDaily, October 1, Monday 2007
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